Again, Eizah si Jiwang Karat = ='

Hi guys. Assalamualaikum. :)

Yeahhh.. tiba-tiba rasa nak menaip draft entry pulak malam ne. Semua gara-gara cik Izzah Fauzi yang sibuk dok kata blog aku membosankan. “How could she!”

So, what I’m going to talk about? *monologdalaman

I don’t really have a proper idea about what to type. Seriously. So aku rasa aku akan tulis je tentang apa yang terjadi sepanjang hari ini; hari Jumaat – 23/11/12. That’s going to be easier.

[#np Terlanjur Cinta – Pasha & Rossa]

Pagi tadi aku bangun. And automatically aku check handphone aku yang ada sebelah aku. jeng jeng jeng ~ “I got the message with the red symbol!!!” FINALLY -,- after I’ve waited all night, act. But IDK why, I am not that excited dengan kiriman mesej tersebut. Mungkinkah sebab faktor kesihatan aku yang agak merosot lately? Taktahu lah pulak kan. Or maybe sebab aku agak frust menunggu the whole night, semalam? Mungkin jugaklah. That moment dalam kepala ne, aku fikir... “He’s late. Too late even I’ve waited untill 1:30 

am” *hampa.

Aku putuskan untuk ignore mesej tu. Sebab setelah aku fikir semasak-masaknye, aku dapat satu teori neh. Kalau aku reply pon, it’s a late reply after 3 hours. Dia mesti tak ada modal nak re-reply me back. Besar kemungkinan kalau aku reply pon, I’ll text after sehari suntuk. Konon nak menunjukkan yang aku taklah teghingin sangat nak ber-conversation dgn dia. And because of that, I think  it’ll be another a whole night before dia mesej aku. And perhaps aku pon akan ambil about a whole night before I could reply. Maybe dia mesej aku Cuma sekadar nk ikut syarat je. I am his friend right? Aku pulak akan reply dgn lambat-lambatnye untuk mengelakkan dia assume aku suka dia; untuk buat-buat biasa like ‘your text isn’t a big matter to me laaa’ *actuallyitisbig.

Conclusion terakhir yang aku ambil adalah AKU TAK TEXT DIA. Cuz of what? Sebab aku tak sanggup nak bermesej dgn dia kalau I’ve to wait for every one whole night untuk conversation tuu berlangsung. I can’t wait that long just to satisfy myself – having conversation with my crush. It is so not me and kind of unberable.

But YKW... to don’t have any conversation with him in a day is something that almost unbearable too. Korang akan cakap aku pathetic. But still, that is seriously what had happened. I am weak and I don’t deny it. But at least, I am learning to be strong even the step taken is much too slow.

Untuk tidak bermesej adalah respon aku sendiri terhadap mesej dia yang macam nak-tak-nak je bermesej aku. Untuk tidak bermesej adalah usaha aku sendiri untuk tidak memberikan harapan pada diri aku. Untuk tidak bermesej adalah langkah berjaga-jaga aku yang dapat agak dia takkan suka aku punya laaa. Pon begitu, untuk tidak bermesej dan terus tidak bermesej, taklah mudah sangat untuk aku ne. Frankly, sebab aku rindu. TETTTT jiwangkarat di situ*lbeypulakaku.

Pagi sampai tengah hari tu aku boleh go on lagi dengan decision aku memandangkan aku menyibukkan diri aku doing chores and so many other things. Masuk petang, aku dah mula goyah and bosan juga sebenarnya. Bila nak masuk malam ~ aku ubah pendirian aku. my heart keep telling me, "Just another text from you then I'll stop ignoring." Hahhh, nampak tak, betapa rapuhnya perasaan aku time neh? 

So before, aku betul-betul buat mende tuh which obviously means that I am not strong, aku akan jadi perigi cari timba and aku akan mesej je dgn dia, pretend like we shared the same feeling .... aku cepat-cepat send a so called SOS message kepada member-member yang dipercayai. pendek je mesej tu. It is just a symbol of "TT..TT" aku send dekat Ain KZ, Izzah Fauzi, Wafa Fauzi, Mardhiyah, and Aqem (I am kind of trust him sebab aku respek sikap dia and memandangkan aku kenal dia lebih awal daripada member laki yang laen) But unfortunately, on that critical moment yang mana aku dah almost burst into tears.. Tak ada sorang pon yang reply my SOS mcg. Lebih menyakitkan jiwaraga apabila maxis informed me yang mcg cannot be delivered sbb terdapat beberapa org member bertuah aku neh swicth off handphone. AIGOO ~

Aku tak kira, I still need to talk to someone. Mungkin kalau dapat nasihat daripada seseorang yang lebih tua, that'll be much better. So I've decided to call Raudhoh Pirzan; my beloved lovely cousin.

Sebaik sahaja Odah pick up the call, aku dah menangis, Gediks right? act. time tuu aku nangis sebab rindukan Syahida. Mana taknya, tiba-tiba abah talk about her and all the moment we've once shared together with her. It deeply touched me. Sudahnya feeling rindu Syahida and kekusutan kerana dia jadik bercampur. Makin haru lahh jadinyeh.

blax3 ~ and yadax3 ~ cakap dengan Odah buat aku tak tensed sangat. Even aku tak cerita betul-betul apa yang terjadi atau apa yang aku rasa (sebab memang segan nak cerita tak tahu macam mana nak luahkan.) Dapat borak dengan dia pon dahh memadai. Thanks to you Odah :)

so malam tuu aku pon okay akhirnye. Tapi taklah okay secara keseluruhannya. err ~ tapi Alhamdulillah, lebih okay dari sebelumnya. 

Time tgh layan Maharaja Lawak Mega with the whole family downstairs, Izzah Fauzi pulak call. And yeahhh.. dgn dia aku lebih opened siked untuk bercerita. Sabar je lahh aku, dalam segan-segan aku nak bercerita and dengan mood yang frust + broken hearted, Izzah Fauzi sempat lagi nak usik sakat and membahan aku. Cess = =' And panjang berborak, kitorang dapati we've something in common about our love story. Izzah always a step ahead from me. Apa yang dia alami and rasa kind of sama je dengan aku. Tapi dia punya masa depan dalam bab nehh vivid manakala aku punya sangat vague. Hmph ~

I used this what I called Muslim's Yellow Pages on my critical moment, seriously

Ok guys, ini je yang aku nak share. Again, Thanks to everyone yang respon mesej aku. AIN KZ pong ada reply. aku sangat hargainya. sebab tuu last kredit dia. even tak dapat borak and buat sesi luahan perasaan dengan dia, aku tahu dia paham sangat apa yang melanda member dia sorang ne. Thanks for your understanding Ain Kamarozzaman.

Thanks for reading. *jika ada yang membaca laa*

Till we meet again.

ADIOS

Assalamualaikum wbt.

SUBHANALLAH, I love this song!

You came to me in that hour of need

When I was so lost, so lonely

You came to me took my breath away

Showed me the right way, the way to lead

You filled my heart with love

Showed me the light above

Now all I want Is to be with you

You are my one true love

Taught me to never judge

Now all I want Is to be with you

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sami_yusuf/you_came_to_me.html ]

CHORUS (x2): ALLAHUMA! Sal 'ala Sayideena Mustafa

'Alaa Habeebika Nabieeka Mustafa

(O God! Send Your Blessings upon our leader, the chosen one (Muhammad (peace upon him))

Upon Your Beloved, Your Prophet, the chosen one)

You came to me in a time of despair

I called on you, you were there

Without You what would my life mean?

To not know the unseen, the worlds between

For you I'd sacrifice

For you I'd give my life

Anything, just to be with you

I feel so lost at times

By all the hurt and lies

Now all I want Is to be with you

CHORUS (x2)

Showed right from wrong

Taught me to be strong

Need you more than ever

Ya Rasul ALLAH (O Messenger of God (Muhammad (peace be upon him))

You came to me

In that hour of need

Need you more than ever

Ya Rasul ALLAH

You filled my heart with love

Showed me the light above

Now all I want is to be with you

You are my one true love

Taught me to never judge

Now all I want Is to be with you

CHORUS (currently X2)

Laa Ilaaha Illallah

I'm done reading this article by NAYZAK. So it's your turn now. InsyaAllah, yang baik jadikan bekalan.. Mana-mana yang tak baik tolak tepi. Wallahu'alam

 1. "If God created everything - then who created God?" (May Allah forgive me for this stupid question)

 Answer:
According to the Qur'an, Allah tells us that He is the only creator and sustainer of all that exists and that nothing and no one exists alongside Him, nor does He have any partners. He tells us that He is not created, nor is He like His creation in anyway. He calls Himself by a number of names and three of them are:
A) The First - (Al-Awwal)
B) The Last - (Al Aakhir)
C) The Eternal, who is sought after by His creation, while He has no need from them at all. (As-Samad)
so, the answer to the question "Who created God?" is "no one created him".
the answer to the question "What was before the God?" is "nothing, since the God was the first"
Allah has always existed and He never was created, as He is not like His creation, nor similar to it, in any way.

 2. "How can you believe in God, when you can't see, hear, touch, smell, taste or even imagine what He is?"

 Answer:
We know from the teachings of the last prophet of Islam, Mohammed -Peace and blessings be upon him- that no one has ever actually seen God - at least not in this lifetime. Nor are we able to use our senses to make some kind of contact with Him. However, we are encouraged in Islam to use our senses and our common sense to recognize that all of this universe could not possibly come into existence on its own. Something had to design it all and then put it into motion. That is beyond our ability to do, yet it is something that we can understand.

We don't have to see an artist to recognize a painting, correct? So, if we see paintings without seeing artists painting them, in the same way, we can believe that Allah created everything without having to see Him (or touch, or hear, etc.).



 3. "Can God do anything? - Can He make a rock so big that nothing can move it? - If He did make a rock so big that nothing could move it, would that mean that He couldn't move it too? Or would it be impossible for Him to make something so big that He couldn't move it?"

 Answer:
Allah tells us that "Allah is capable of doing anything that He Wills to do." He can make a rock (or anything for that matter) that is so large or heavy that nothing in the entire universe can move it. As regards Allah "moving" it, He is not in the universe and He does not resemble His creation. Whenever He wants anything done, He merely says "Kun! Fayakun!" (Be! And so it will be!)

TAKDIR + TAWAKAL

Assalamualaikum dan Salam Satu Malaysia 
Selamat malam kalian (aku draft post ne waktu mlm)

Err.. This is my first time buat draft directly from h andphone u di-publish dlm blog. So I hope you guys pepaham je laa kalau ada bnyk typo atau entry kalini mcm messy siked.

Sekarang ne dkt Taman Ramal Suria dan sekitarnya tgh hujan. Standard lah kan, di penghujung tahun ne.. Kalau petang tak hujan, malam mesti hujan punya. InsyaAllah, hujan yang turun mencurah ke bumi itu adlh tnda rahmat Nya dan merupakan simbolik rezeki utk kita semua. Wallahu'alam. Time-time macam ne pong org kata antara waktu yg diperkenankn doa. Heee~ sama-sama lah kita berdoa yer. ^^ Soal diperkenankan atau tidak, itu hak Allah yang Maha Kuasa. *bismillahirrahmanirrahim*

 Aku bukan lah nk cerita banyak bab takdir bagai. Tapi terasa nk cakap beberapa perkara yang berkaitan dgn nya. Itu shj. So, if I am mistaken in whatever I'm going to say or share after this.... Sila lah tegur, toksah segan-segan.

My umi dah lama sakit kaki actually. It was right after my late sis - Syahida meninggal and there's a time it's getting worse sampaikan umi terpaksa bertongkat utk mengajar di sekolah. And now, it's getting so much better, alhamdulillah.

But however... As the test of blood, urine and blax3 came out yesterday, didapati bahawa sakit yang menimpa umi neh... Dtg bersamanya beberapa simptom penyakit Rheumatoid Arthritis (AR) frankly, I didn't acknowledge langsung whether that AR is a critical disease or what. But sooner as I went through reading informations about the disease on internet, I realize it is an autoimmune disease which is almost close to Lupus (SLE). But still, different la. And bila sebut SLE, entah knp but I am kinda phobia towards it. Well, mybe sbb disease tu ada kaitan dgn my late sister agknye. Hmph..  and sbb ia dlm group disease yg complex n berat gk sbnrnyeh.

Makanya... Tentulah after I acknowledge few things related to AR like I've said before, I am worried about my umi. She's not sick with such of disease. Yet it is just the symptoms. But still kinda burdensome to think of it out of my concerned. Abah's word keep on repeating it self in my head, "kuasa takdir mengatasi segala-galanya. Kita dah pernah diuji sekali masa syahida sakit dulu. Mungkin ini pun satu bntuk ujian yg memerlukn kita usaha dan tawakal srta lbey taqarrub dgn NYA."  

Be prepared for what will come in the future. 

The best thing I see we could ever do is ikhtiar and tawakal.

Even it is so, I won't deny somewhere inside me is damn so afraid that things will get to the worse and we'll have to face the problem the way we did before. I mean to lose someone you love and experienced it once again is kinda pain even to think of it  Aku tak maksudkan apa yg terjadi dkt syahida akn jd dkt umi. Haih~ Na'uzubillahimindzalik. Aku selalu doa yg terbaik. But it is just, I am scared to face it if it's going to be as unexpected as before.

Sebagai seorang yang tahu hakikat bhwa Allah maha Kuasa dan ada rahsia di sebalik setiap percaturannya, aku 100% setuju kata-kata abah , takdirNYA mengatasi segala-galanya. Najwa Huda pulak kate tawakal adlh kuasa yang besar. And AKU conclude-kan... Untuk menghadapi takdirNYA perlu tawakal. Penyerahan diri dan usaha itu perlu seiring, seia, sekata. 

Btol tak?? I'll keep it in my head anyway. Err... Guys, wanna ask u for a sec, Mesti korang pening kan dgn penyampaian entry kalini? Sbb ak pong pening. Haha. Mentang-mentang la dah lama tak berbloging, my typing skill  had turned upside down. *poyojeh*

Actually point yang aku nk kongsi dlm entry ne adlh tntg kebimbangan aku,  which aku sebenarnya masih agk coward to even think too far, to the worse what might happen. Agk takut kalau sekiranya sesuatu yg aku taknak, terjadi dua kali.. aku akn jatuh n takmampu bangkit. Eceh. Tu je sbnrnye - risau. 

Guys, this not-so-long-but-still-a-long entry will end here. Not sure korang paham ke tak entry yg cacamerba bhsanye neh. and yes, membosankan sbb takde gambar bagai. sori and BTW, aku mintak, korang pong doa-doa lah supaya tak ada apa yang serius sgt tntg sakit umi aku neh. (Sakit kaki je kann mula-mula tuhh.) Doa sme dgn aku okayh! ^^V

[notakaki] saat abah sebut sebaris firman Allah yang mafhumnya, "dalam al-Quran itu ada rahmat dan penawar"  hati aku berbisik, "yeahh lets stick to it (Quran)"

Assalamualaikum wbt :)

Late Night Nagging - Don't Call Me That Way!

Hi world and Peace be upon you :)

Jyeahh, it's already 0225 hours in the morning.
I'm just finished doing my late night chores - cleaning the kitchen, wash the dishes and etc.
What I'm thinking I'm doing now? It's not like tomorrow is holiday or I'm taking a day off.
Actually I am not satisfied about something.
And that's maybe the main reason why I am updating my blog right now; at this moment.

People,
will you guys stop calling me with something I don't belong to.
YKW, I realized that since in elementary school until this present time.. other people like to give nicknames for me. My elementary schoolmate did call me pizza and tol just because it sounds similar to Eizah and Farhatul. They keep teasing me and of course, I hate it damn so much.
I love my name given by my parents. It has a nice meaning which means 'shines of happiness honor'.

But kids back then makes me hate my own name because they keep, giving me a bad title. -,-  I am std six on that time and get easily touched by so many things especially the worst one. so to be frank, I cried once because of this matter. LOL,

Anyway I thought that, as I am already a grown up teenager.. people wouldn't do this stuff - giving bad title or mocking my name etc. But still, it happens. This what I'm going to complaint about.
Lalalala~

Calling me Salam even my name is Eizah. What's the point??? *emotional people get emo* I don't even close to that so called Salam lahh -..-" Perhaps that, whoever calling me that way doesn't meant to hurt me. Maybe it just for fun and jokes. Kinda. At first, I am taking this matter lightly, no biggie. But as time flies, making fun of me doesn't make me fun at all. I got humiliated. It's quite much.

Not just that... Calling me 'sotong' out of nowhere. It's quite embarrassing . Seriously. But as people whom calling me that way are friends of mine, so ignore it. That's a joke too right? No hard feelings please.
But as I realized that the 'sotong' is actually suits me so well because it's related to my weaknesses - being too flexible and for my awful body language, I got mad. Not mad actually but a little bit offended.
Said umi, "Kalau kawan kita hormat kita, dia takkan gelar kita sesuatu yang kita tak suka. Tambah pulak gelaran tu diberi disebabkan kelemahan kita. Seorang kawan takkan gelakkan kawan dia kerana kelemahannya" *ouch* and that's the moment I started to think that I don't like to be called that way, seriously.

The latest nickname among the others is to be called 'mak mah'.
me, mak Mah? What the.... o..O Calling me that way and let the whole class knowing it sarcastically. This is too much lah. He called me that way and in the mean time, still calling me Salam - this so a burdensome. I'm not that stressed just to think about this 'nicknames' stuff which I dislike. But it's partially affected me when I got called the way I don't want to, on the moment it happened. My confident level dropped drastically and I even don't have courages to stand in front and give my own opinion in the class. I assumed that I am getting called mak Mah out of my clumsiness. I thought so. It's my bad being clumsy.

Anyway guys, take note this, whether it is logic or not, that so called given title to me or even the title suits me damn pretty well.. don't call me with something I don't want to and don't belong to. If it's for jokes and fun, don't be too much or I'll offense and hate it.

Guys, it seemed I've took a long time to type an entry. This is my first own-made entry in English. So if there's any mistake or error in grammar and etc. I am so sorry because it happened that I'm not good in English. Err.. *awkward face*

Finished on, 0324 hours. I bet umi must get mad knowing that I'm not sleep yet and tomorrow might be my sleepy-day ever !

Morning Malaysian and Good Night Eim and Hanan :)

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Assalamualaikum, Adios.